Credits

This tool draws on Crucial Conversations by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan and Al Switzler (Start with Heart, mutual purpose and mutual respect, contrasting, CRIB, mastering your stories, STATE, and AMPP listening); Crucial Confrontations, now titled Crucial Accountability, by the same authors with David Maxfield (CPR, describing the gap, and motivation and ability); Difficult Conversations by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton and Sheila Heen of the Harvard Negotiation Project (the three conversations, the contribution system, and the third story); John Gottman’s research on soft startups and emotional flooding; and Marshall Rosenberg’s Nonviolent Communication (observations, feelings, needs and requests). All descriptions are summaries in our own words.

If a conversation involves abuse, threats or your physical safety, put your safety first and get support from a professional.

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